Not Gonna Lie

My friend, Julie recently posted a list of her faults and I thought it was a really great idea! We might as well get it all out there on the table, right? She's right, I happen to look around at all the other "Moms" I know and think they've got it all together in life! Truth be told, they are probably just as stressed out, tired and frustrated as I am.

So here's my list of honest truths about me...

~ I don't like listening to my children argue with each other. I probably raise my voice too often to correct this issue!

~ I hate a lot of vegetables and don't force my kids to try and like them either. So we don't have them as often as we should.

~ I would love to watch TV more than I should. There are just so many good shows out there and I want to keep up with all of them. It's something I'm working on!

~ There are times when I don't really listen to my kids when I know I should be. Just had to apologize to the oldest yesterday when he was telling me a story and I zoned out.

~ My hubby doesn't know how to work the remote (in my opinion) so I'm in control when we watch a show!

~ I get frustrated that my kids don't help out more around the house but it's my own fault for not making them. I can't figure out a great system to get us started. We're tried several times and failed.

~ I don't take the time to snuggle with my hubby as much as I should. I get frustrated when I'm "busy" doing something and he needs some lovin'. He's a very patient man but it frustrates him.

~ I've discovered that I only have to wash my hair every other day. So I straighten it one day and then don't do much with it the next day. Maybe throw a few curls in and pull it back. Not sure if it's being lazy or smart on my part :o)

~ This blog is another area where I struggle. I feel as though I have so much to say and would enjoy writing more but get nervous that someone out there will read it and judge me. Why do I worry so much about what others think? I should be living for only ONE person in my life... my creator!

There are so many more that I could list but I don't want to scare you all away! Thanks for letting me honest and keep it real with ya...

Welcome to the world, Jordan!

He's here and we're all adjusting to life as a family of 6! The older boys are more than excited to have a baby brother. They ran to tell all their friends on our street that he was home and took Daddy's cell phone to show pictures. Jacob however, has had mixed emotions over his new brother. The day we brought him home he asked "Can he go back in Mommy's tummy?" Then later asked "Can't we take him back to the hospital?" Lately he seems to have taken a liking to him though... talking to him and singing when Jordan gets upset.

Here are some pictures of our newest family member...

It's the final countdown...

I'm not sure exactly when it will happen but this little guy is going to be here before long! We are excited about seeing who he looks like. We have three boys that look very similar but each has their own "look" if that's possible! Plus, I wonder what his personality will be like?

Right now I'm at 34 weeks and 3 days so it's still a bit early but things seem to be moving along. My doctor has given me strict orders to rest as much as possible and NO HOUSE WORK! Ugh, if only she knew how much I want to be getting things ready right now.

The crib is ready. We put the bassinet together last week. I packed my bag so I think we're good to go at this point. Now we just have to wait for the big moment :o)

The Laundry Pile

I recently had someone refer to the "day" I do laundry at my house. I had to stop and think back to the good old days when we could do laundry once a week... can I get an Amen? It made me laugh at the thought, really. I don't remember the last time I waited a whole week to do laundry. For those of you who have two or more children, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Maybe it's just boys or children in general but I feel like I'm constantly doing a load or two of laundry. It just piles up before my eyes! Guess it's time I start training those little guys to get in there and help their Mama, huh?

Just think, a couple more months and we're adding one more family member's clothes to the pile... and even though he'll be tiny... he'll sure dirty a ton of tiny clothes!

What a pain... in my head!

I've experience headaches since I was in the 2nd grade. I don't even remember how I made it to the nurses office after I blacked out in the classroom. It was the strangest feeling. That brought about numerous tests and trips to the doctor. I began having to take migraine pills when they would start up.

These migraines are terrible because I typically loose sight, then limbs start to go numb and I just can't focus or concentrate. It can be scary but once you've done it as many times as I have, it's just routine. The worst one I ever had was while I was pregnant with Josh... my ears, eye lids and tongue went numb and I couldn't even speak! I think that one actually freaked the doctor out a little :o)

This pregnancy has caused regular every day headaches but it's also given me two migraines. What a mess. The first one was eased by drinking coke, taking Tylenol and sleeping for several hours. The second one, not so much. After 24 hours of fighting it, Jeff and my Mom convinced me to go to the ER. I wasn't happy but knew I would get the relief I needed. They gave me a shot of morphine and sent me home with Tylenol 3.

Now I'm just praying that they won't return and the rest of this pregnancy will be smooth sailing!

My heart

So I don't know how this is going to come across but it's what's in my heart and I want to say it. Since I've gotten pregnant, everyone has been talking about my having a daughter. Believe me, that's what I desire more than anything else. I've told people before that not having a daughter is like living with a hole in my heart! Growing up I always imagined my life as a Mommy to a couple of daughters. Maybe it was because I only had a sister and the bond we have with our Mom is unbreakable! Maybe it's because I always dreamed about dressing them up and doing their hair. Whatever it is, it's there and it's stronger than it has ever been.

I have a hard time when we're in a store and I see families who have little girls. Especially when they have all little girls and they aren't clean and their hair is a disaster. I'm telling the truth when I say that I've spoken with God about my judgment of those parents. He knows I don't feel it's completely "fair." It's a personal issue that I'm working on!

Right now as I sit just one week away from finding out what we will be blessed with, it's hard. My emotions are high and my heart is on edge. People keep asking "Will you really be okay if it's another boy?" "Do you think you'll have a meltdown on the ultrasound table?" "Are you going to cry depending on what you find out?" The answer is, I don't know! I honestly can't say how that day will be spent. I'm sure it will be full of emotion no matter what the outcome.

God says he gives us the desires of our hearts and I'm trying to trust that. I also know that He is in control and if He knows that another boy is best, then that's what I will have to trust. One day I will understand His reasons but until then I rest in His will for our family and my life!

Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. It's nice to have my family close all the time. This year we got to celebrate with Jeff's brother and his wife and their 4 kids after two years of them being in another country. Seems the celebrations have come and gone and life was a whirlwind for a few weeks!

Now we are on to the new year and what 2010 holds for this family...

Celebration mixed with sadness!

We found out last Monday that we are expecting baby #4! It's crazy when I stop and think about all this means. Especially when I think about all the birthdays we will have during that time of year. The baby will be born at some point in the summer when Jacob will be turning 3, Seth 6 and Josh 9! I guess that is how God wanted it to be because I wasn't exactly planning that. We are excited to see if we'll be having a boy or girl this time. You know what my heart desires and so does the Lord... He and I have had many talks since finding out!

Tuesday we were sad because of the 2 year Anniversary of Jeff's Mom passing. He was sick and had been running a fever for almost 24 hours at that point. So he didn't get to go down and visit his Mom's grave but we thought about her and talked about all she meant to so many people. He struggles so much because he was always so close to his Mom and it was hard to watch her suffer in the end.

We also just celebrated 2 years of my Mom being cancer free! It's been such a blessing to see her be aggressive in her treatment and fight this thing with all she has. What a terrible disease but what courage she has shown in the face of it. I can't imagine life without her and hope I never have to!

Thursday was Jeff's 35 birthday and he was still very sick with a fever. I hoped he would be feeling better by the weekend so we could get out and celebrate. He was feeling better but by that point Seth was running a fever and then Jake. So we will have to put the celebrating off a little longer. Once everyone is well we will take him out and do dinner. I know he is looking forward to it as much as I am!

Giveaways are awesome!

Go check out Mary's giveaway at Owlhaven...

http://www.owlhaven.net/2009/10/05/october-family-feasts-giveaway/comment-page-2/#comment-38198

I'm super excited to see who wins and I hope it's me :o)

I loved my Grandpa

I don't want to try and write something about my Grandpa all over again because it's still a bit emotional for me. So here is what I wrote in the memory book online...

As a girl I remember thinking my Grandpa was a very important man because he was the Pastor of our church. When he spoke, people listened. I also thought he knew everything about God and the Bible. He studied more than anyone I knew!

There are also the memories from the good times we spent with my Grandma and Grandpa. I will never forget spending the night and having yummy snacks like popcorn or bread and milk in a cup. There were the times laying on his bed playing with Andre the dog. The times out in their pool. Every couple weeks he would stop by our house to visit and we knew there would be a treat involved... most likely a Kit Kat Bar! We also enjoyed going to Burger King to get a whopper because Grandpa loved a good hamburger.

As I've gotten older I've come to realize just what an important and special man he truly was. It was so amazing to watch the relationship between him and my kids. My boys loved Great Grandpa and the times spent with him. It was always cute when Great Grandpa reached for his wallet because my boys knew he was about to give them a dollar! He would roll the ball with them or take them for rides in his chair.

Grandpa, we will never forget the good times we had with you. Thank you for loving us, believing in us and encouraging us no matter what life brought our way!

Here are some pictures from the graveside service. It was so emotional but I felt such honor for him and his service to our country!

I loved seeing the flag...

Such a cool thing to hear and see

She played so beautifully

Folding the flag

Presenting it to my Grandma

Probably the strongest woman I know

Grandma, Mom, Uncle Steve, Aunt Karen and Uncle Matt

The kids were trying to process the whole thing

Family is a blessing

I feel very blessed to have such a large family! Since I was a little girl we've always been closer to my Mom's side. On that side there were 9 grandkids, 7 girls and 2 boys. I used to love getting together at my Grandma's house for Holidays. My Grandparents had a pool and we would swim from morning til evening! I will always look back at those times and be thankful.

As I get older, I appreciate my family even more. I've come to realize just how special each of them are to me. We're all grown now and have our own lives but we still make time to get together and celebrate life. You should see it when all of us our there together, it can get pretty crazy and loud. I guess some of the noise may have to do with the 9 great grandkids ranging in age from 13 years to 1 month old.

Recently we all got together to visit with my cousin, Danah and her daughter, Aylah. We don't get to see them much because they live in Wisconsin now. It was also a blessing to have my cousin, Jen and her baby girl, Emma who was just days old. Here are some pictures from that night...

8 of the great grandkids

He said "Mom, we need a baby girl!"

He said "Mom, we need two baby girls!"

Isn't she the cutest thing ever?

The men of the family

My Mom with baby Aylah

I couldn't resist taking pictures of her!

Three generations of wonderful women

Tony and Kristi... they just got engaged last night!

Some students steal your heart...

Student ministries can be very tough but so rewarding! I've had such a great time loving on these students and pouring into their lives. Anyone who knows me well, knows how nervous I was to jump into this area because I was so used to working with babies/children. I knew I had life experiences to offer these students, girls especially. I just wasn't sure how receptive they would be of me. It was amazing as I jumped right in and started serving. God truly blessed my life with each and everyone of them.

As time has gone on, I've poured into different lives and seen such growth. Wow, some of them have amazing talents and gifts. I've been to High School summer camp twice and what an experience! Jeff and I had the opportunity to do GO in 2008 and what a blessing it was. We trained with the students to do GO in 2009 but had to step away at the last minute with the passing of my Grandpa. It was tough but we knew family comes first in all areas of ministry!

All of this to say there are certain girls who steal your heart and make you so proud. Since I started a few years ago, I've been impressed with Ashley. She seemed wise and mature beyond her years. I've seen her serve as a member of the praise band, leader for Jr. High students, put in hard work for the GO trips and above all else a girl with a big heart who loves the Lord. She also reminds me of myself years ago when I was young and in love. She knows she wants to be a wife and mother and is praying that in God's timing she will marry the man of her dreams, Casey. I'm so glad God has given us the chance to get closer in the last few months. I feel so blessed to be a part of her life! I'm looking forward to the things God has planned for her.

This pic is not one of my favorite pics (because of me) but she looks cute...

Round One... ding, ding

So lately Jeff and I have really felt like we're under the attack of the evil one. We just started back with High School small group in our home and a just last month felt led to start a college age ministry at our church. I should have known that satan would find that troubling and do everything in his power to tear us down and destroy our efforts! After all, when you're reaching people, especially students for Jesus Christ, that is just going to tick him off.

One of the first big blows was when Jeff got a pay cut of 5% at work. We weren't happy but what else could we do. So we praised the Lord that Jeff even had a job! The Lord in return gave Jeff a small raise by being able to take on HR stuff in California.

The second blow came when they announced that they would no longer be covering the health insurance for families of employees and only covering employees at half as much as they used to. Unfortunately we couldn't afford that because it more than doubled our rates to over $1000 per month. As of yet we still haven't found a new insurance plan that fits us just right. We are truly praying about what God would have us do in this situation and that He would protect each one of us until then! We cannot afford any more medical bills at this point.

There haven't been huge blows since then but just little nagging pinches, pokes and kicks...

All three boys and myself got sick. Seth got so bad that he had to see a doctor, fortunately they were nice and only charged $60 for seeing the doc without insurance.

Jeff's car died on Saturday night as we were leaving for church and the new battery cost us $80.

The boys have been disrespectful and argumentative lately. Which causes Jeff and I to be on edge with them and each other.

There are so many more things that pop into my head but I'm not going to list them all. I just want to get the point across that WE ARE NOT going to let the evil one get us down! God has called us to to serve HIM and that is exactly what we plan on doing with our whole life.

Changes are being made and every attempt to kick the devils butt is happening. Because "As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD!"

Triple Birthday Bash... part 3

Finally, here are the pictures of Josh's birthday. Am I old enough to have an 8 year old?

I forgot I don't have pics of him with his cake because my battery died. I will have to ask my Mom to send those over.

His metal detector from Gram and Big Papa

Opening his gift from Arianna

Celebrating with his 2nd grade class...

his teacher gave "spankings"

Triple Birthday Bash... part 2

Now for Seth's birthday... can't believe he's 5!

The friends with Chuck E. Cheese

He enjoyed that cake... (note to self, never get black/blue frosting again!)

Big Papa helping Analiah get the frosting off her nose

He loves this girl!

Triple Birthday Bash

Summers at our house are always crazy, not only do we have all the usual summer fun and activities planned, we have three boys with birthdays to celebrate! I thought maybe I could catch you up on what those looked like and how we celebrated this year. I'm going to have to do it in three posts though so I can fit all the pictures in. First we'll start with Jacob, his birthday was tough because we were dealing with the fact that my Grandpa was so sick. In fact, we found out just before the party that he would be going into hospice care the following day. So it was as if we were celebrating a little life and dealing with the possible loss of an older one all at once! God is good and pulled us all through...

Riding his new bike from Gram and Big Papa

Loving on Grandma at the party

He loves his cousin Lexie

Too much cake!

Blowing out the candles

Playing games at Peter Piper Pizza

Been so long...

It's been so long since I blogged, I almost forgot how to log in. I really want to be here but I just can't find myself saying much.

I guess I can share a little bit about Seth's first week in Kindergarten though. The very first day he had some good stuff...

Monday, first thing out of his mouth "I didn't even go to the Principal's office today!"
Later on ~ "Lunch is the best part of school!"

Tuesday he fell asleep in music at some point and lost his lunch box somehow. Then the cafeteria was closed by the time I picked him up so we couldn't find it. He ended the day by being on yellow!

On Wednesday he had a tough time because the assistant tossed his lunch before he was completely done. That set him off and he began to cry his eyes out. The principal had to call me and have me talk with him to calm him down. He begged to come home but I wouldn't give in. He's got to learn I can't come get him any time he's upset! He came home on green though.

Thursday went great and he got a green star!

We'll see what happens today. He seemed hesitant to go...

Doesn't he seem so tiny in that uniform?

I think his back pack weighs more than he does!

In Memory of my Gramps...

Recently my Grandpa passed away and it was so tough. He was an amazing man who served his country and his faith for many years. I think I'm ready to talk about some of my memories and stories...

He loved talking about being in the military and was proud of his accomplishments! He often told funny stories of the things that happened. I remember only a couple of times him telling us of the darker, deeper stories of men being blown up in front of him or the guy next to him having his arm shot to pieces. I think he wanted to protect us from those scary real life moments as his granddaughters. I always will remember him as being a brave man!

Another thing he enjoyed was preaching the Gospel and sharing God's love. He was the Pastor of our church for over 20 years. I remember if we were at their house on a Saturday we had to be sure to stay out of his office and be a little more quiet because he had to study. I thought for sure he must have known the Bible from cover to cover because he studied ALL the time. As little girls, my sister and I would often fall asleep during the Sunday evening service while he was preaching and he enjoyed teasing us about how boring he must have been! Then later when we were having dinner he would ask one of us to pray for the meal and as soon as we would say "Amen" he would start snoring, turning the tables on us!

Every time I pass a Kit Kat Bar I think of him because it was his favorite. He would stop by our house every few weeks and as soon as he pulled up we knew there would be a treat for us. He would either have them tucked in his shirt pocket or a brown paper bag. It was the best!

My Grandpa has also been a part of so many of my memories... He baptized me on my 6th birthday. He and my Grandma were at all of my birthday parties. They attended my High School graduation and he was so proud. He and my Uncle Steve married Jeff and I. He was at the hospital for the birth of all three of my boys and was beaming about having another Great Grandson.

I am so thankful for the time my own boys had to spend with him because they have wonderful memories of their Great Grandpa! He was always spoiling them with toys and money. He was a wonderful Great Grandpa and I know they will cherish those memories!

What an amazing man... I thank God for giving him to me as a Grandpa!!

Feels like forever

It's been so long since I posted here. I've missed you blogging friends but facebook has stolen so much of my time from you! If you're on there, stop by and say hi.

We've had lots going on while I was away...

~ Celebrated my 28th birthday
~ Celebrated my 9th anniversary with Jeff
~ Celebrated with 2 friends as they brought babies home
~ Attended a wedding for two sweet friends
~ Enjoyed 2 wonderful weeks of spring break with Josh
~ Enjoyed 2 Fridays in a row with hubby being home
~ Started the GO missions training with the HS students at church

There's probably more but my mind can't process it all right now. I'll be back to share more later. Just thought I better update a little so you didn't think I was gone forever :o)

Can you believe he's the first?

With three boys in our family you would think this wasn't anything new. Monday we were visiting at Grandma and Papa's house and I heard a smack and then crying. The kind of crying where a Mama knows something is definitely wrong. I guess my Mom said "Someone's going to need stitches" and I didn't even hear her. I was so focused on getting out there to see what happened.

Come to find out, Josh was "teaching" Seth to golf with a big piece of wood. It was actually one of those rods that you hang your clothes on in the closet. Unfortunately for Seth his head became the golf ball! Josh felt horrible and was patting Seth on the back saying, "You know I would never hurt you on purpose, right Seth?"

We decided to head to urgent care because we only have to pay a $20 co-pay there. Plus, we thought we might get in and out quicker and be on our way. We sat in the waiting room for about 25 minutes and then went back to the room. They came in, cleaned it up and put some numbing medicine on it. We had to wait another 15 minutes for that to kick in. Then the doc came in and got all ready... let the freak out begin! Jeff, Grandma and I all tried to hold him down while the doc sat back and waited. I was getting frustrated that he wouldn't give us a hand. So after a couple minutes he said he was done and it just wasn't going to work.

We got to the ER and the waiting room was packed! We waited to be seen in triage for about 30 minutes. They told us it would probably be about a 2 hour wait. What to do with a kid that has blood running down his face for 2 hours in a dirty, infected waiting room. We asked if we could go grab something to eat and got the okay. Seth was excited to find cheese pizza in the cafeteria and even more excited to have strawberry milk with it!

Back in the ER, we were entertained by another family sitting next to us. They laughed and joked with us about life. Grandma and Seth played one of his favorite games where you draw shapes, numbers and letters on his back and he figures out what it is. Great education while filling time. It took a little over 3 hours before they called his name but we made the most of it and there will always be memories of that night!

Sorry, that ended up being longer than I intended it to be! Here's what you get when you mix two little boys and a rod...

Kicking back in the ER waiting for the doc...

Unsure of what's to come and starting to worry...

He's crying, we're smiling... great photo!

He's not out of it but laying so still after making a deal with Grandma...

Smiling to make Mom happy...

He wanted one up close so you all could see how brave he is...

The deal Grandma made with him... A $10 toy from Toys R Us!