Saturday, February 09, 2008

'Tis the Season

No, I'm not talking about Christmas! Years ago at a women's event in our church I heard a wonderful speaker talk about the seasons in every woman's life. This world is made up of all different kinds of women... thank goodness! Until recently I knew that some may not understand my decision to stay home with my kids but I didn't realize I could be looked down upon for it. It was heartbreaking when questioned about my abilities due to the fact that I don't have a degree. So I thought maybe I would take a minute to go over my life and explain my choices.

As a young girl when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, you would often hear me say "A teacher, a chef, a nurse and even a lawyer but the # 1 answer on my list... A Mom!" I wanted to be a wife and mother more than anything else. When I turned 16 I began having female problems. My Mom took me to the doctor who decided to take me in for an endoscopy to explore the reasons. They found that I was having issues with endometriosis. I was put on some medication and they watched me carefully.

About that same time (16 years old) I got my first job, started dating my future husband and started taking classes at the community college while homeschooling for high school. I was very busy as my first class in the morning started around 7. Then I would come home and finish my high school work, eat some lunch and head to work... the season of being young and working hard.

I always planned on getting a college education and having a career but life is funny. Jeff asked me to marry him the night before I graduated high school. He was already 22 years old, had been to college and was ready to move on. So the next 10 months were full of wedding planning and excitement. My Mom and I worked hard to get it all done. Thank goodness she knew what she was doing! In 2000, just after I turned 19, Jeff and I were married... the season of being a wife had begun.

I saw the doctor shortly after and she suggested that we start trying because she was unsure of my chances of conceiving. In July of 2001 Joshua was born weighing in at 5 lbs 13 oz... and the season of being a Mommy began. In July of 2002 Jeff and I felt like God was saying we should start trying for #2. Little did we know it would be such a struggle. Finally after 13 months of prayers, tears and frustration we became pregnant. Seth was born in June of 2004 weighing in at 6 lbs 11 oz.... the season of being the Mommy of two! God called us to have another baby. This time it took just about a year. Jacob was born in June of 2007 weighing in at 7 lbs 13 oz... The season of being a Mommy of three!!

So eventually our goal is for me to go back to college and get a degree in nursing. I would love to wait until all my children are in school themselves. It will be so fulfilling to have a "career" but that will be another season in my life. Until then, I feel God has called me to the season of wiping noses, changing diapers, helping with spelling words and teaching my children. It's not always glamorous but it's so rewarding... I love the season I'm in!!


HolyMama! said...

it's a highly worthwhile 'season' as you well know.

ahhh, but the not always glamorous part gets me sometimes. And then i remind myself that NO job is always glamorous. Or good. Or great. oOooh. It's late and I'm rambling!

Susie said...

I am so proud of you for the choices you've made! There will always be time for the other "things" in life. I realize that not every mom has the option to stay at home but fortunatley you do! This decision comes with sacrifices of possessions, trips, etc., but the benefits of pouring into your children are a greater blessing! I have no regrets for my choice, in fact, they were some of the best years of my life and fondest memories! Enjoy this season and when God's timing is right, He'll lead you on to the next season of life!

Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what God has called you to do!!

Tracy said...


OK, you know I rarely post a comment, but after this blog entry I really felt I had to. I hope you know just how wonderful you are. Believe me - I have the career life and I can bet that I envy you a lot more than you could ever envy my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and can't see myself doing anything else(most of the time). However, every year I get older, it becomes more and more of a reality that I may be getting too old for children. Child bearing years and raising them are limited, you are NEVER to old to go to school and start a career outside of motherhood if that is where you feel you are led down the road.

You are such a wonderful person and I learn so much from you every week in regards to kids - stuff I never could have learned in my college education. You have a degree - its just a "real life" degree. I am honored to be able to serve with you.

Love ya!

Kathleen/Sassy Granny said...

What amazing wisdom! The best investments in life are often not fully realized until the dividends begin to pay out. One day those boys "will rise up and call her blessed"! (Prov 31:28)

Julie said...

It is a shame that women can be so judgmental about other women's choices, especially one that is so obviously made out of a spirit of love and making family a priority.

You are so lucky to be able to stay home and I know that you and Jeff make tremendous sacrifices so that you can.

When you "career season" comes you will be awesome and I will be one of your biggest cheerleaders. In the mean time you just keep being an awesome mom!

Jodi said...

Good for you. there are seasons in life and there is nothing wrong with that. I am sure your kids are so happy you have chosen them at this time. God has blessed you with 3 wonderful children and I don't know if there is anything more worthwhile or fulfilling then raising little ones. Thank you for sharing with us.
Praying for you in this season of your life. :)

OneHappyfamily said...

I loved this post! Tim and I were talking last week about how our lives have been so "uncomplicated." We both agreed it is only because of choices we made along the way. We could have chose to go to school and have careers and put our kids in daycare while we both worked all day. I would not have been able to be the wife and mother I have been if we chose that! Being a stay at home mom for almost 12 years is something I am proud. Fortunately I have never been criticized for it by anyone close to me. I will say that now that I am looking for a job, employers want to know where I have been for the last 12 years and when I tell them "home with my babies" they look at me quite pityfully! When I am asked what my biggest accomplishment in life is I am not the least bit ashamed in saying "making sacrifices so I could stay home and raise my children." You need not worry about what others say about your choices. I have found the people with the big house and Hummer in the driveway are the people who wish they they knew how to make the sacrifices we have made to stay home with our babies. You need to be proud to say I put my children before my career. You can make money later tater!

Shalee said...

Take it from someone who has the degree: your work is so much more fulfilling than anything you could find out in the world. Being a full-time mom takes more effort, mind power and determination than any other job I know.

If I were in the position to quit and to stay at home with my kids, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Keep on doing what you're doing, which really is the most important, most underpaid job in the world. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not up to par with anyone else!

Kate said...

Amen to what everyone has said here, but most of all what you've said! Girl, you are so blessed to be right where you are at. Don't doubt or second guess it, ever. I'm in that season right with you!
I'd love to hear about how it was to be homeschooled for high school. It sounds like you were able to take some classes at the comm. college for it. I'd love to hear! My oldest is now 13 (I had him when I was 22!) and it's just another year away before he's in high school...

Kate said...

Hey, I couldn't find your email but got your comment that you were trying to write me. You can write me at katetate at gmail dot com


Sherry said...

Stacey I watch you with your kids and all I can hope for is that one day I can be just like you. I mean that I love watching you and Jeff with the kids. I like to laugh at some of the times when you have to be serious even though Seth does something that is so darn funny. But I can only pray that when my day comes to me a mommy that you are right there helping me. You are a great Mom and don't let any one ever make you feel less than what you are a great Mom, sister, daughter, wife, aunt, and friend. You should be so proud of what you have accomplished. And you have a great life if you ask me. I love you.