Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Dealing with my anger

The last two weeks our Pastor has talked about being angry and given us great ways to deal with it. He gave us this verse to think about...

"Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." Ephesians 4:26.

He told us how lots of times this verse is used with couples and that's great but it's not just in marriage. We need to let go of the anger and bitterness we're holding onto.

Do I have some anger and bitterness in my heart? You bet I do. There was the time I had a boy at school fondle me right in the classroom. Another time I had a boy force himself on me in an empty classroom at school. I had a manager I worked with make a couple passes at me and then once kissed me on the cheek. I had a cousin who tried to rape me when I was 17. This has caused major problems with my security in life. I'm a nervous person who feels like lots of men want the wrong thing. It really hurts that these men and boys have taken me to a place like this. I don't like it and want to get over it!

So there you go, I just laid it all out there for everyone to see. I don't want to hold onto these things any longer. Because really they are only hurting me now. I doubt those guys ever even think about me and the things they did to hurt me. Somehow though because I haven't forgiven them and really let it go, I have still been hurting all these years. It's time! I need to do this for me and the people around me today.

Here's another verse that has really helped...

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

I'm letting go of this today and I feel great! Personally, one of the best ways of letting go is to share it with people around me. This will encourage me to stick with it and stay strong. So thank you for listening! Please pray for healing in my life.

Also, I would like to start helping girls in my community who have been hurt or are dealing with the same issues. I think it's a great way to heal me and also help them. So pray that God would bring those opportunities my way.


Connie said... is so powerful to "share our truth." I believe, as you have stated, that true growth comes from being vulnerable and sharing our hearts. I'm sure this isn't easy to post on your blog, but I pray that through it you will be released from the anger and will be able to heal. Good for you for seeking to grow! God Bless....

Tina said...

It is so neat to see the Lord working in your heart and life.
I am so proud of you and the commitement and humility it takes to blog about something like this!

You are such a special person and I know the Lord has great plans for you and will use this to help other girls!

Thanks for being open to the Lord and challenging us at the same time! I love you! ;)

Shalee said...


God really does know what he's talking about, doesn't he? He encourages us to hold ourselves accountable to each other so that we can bear one another burdens. He also tells us to pray for each other. Thank you so much for sharing your vice and letting God have it. I love knowing specifics for which to pray. It makes me feel as if I am helping to bear the burden all the better.

Praying for you sweet friend. And I'm thanking God that he has surrounded you with men/boys for you to find love, acceptance and security!

Anonymous said...

I once heard that God never wastes a hurt, meaning , if we are willing, after He heals us, He will use those hurts to minister to others. I love that.
Also, when I was dealing with some anger issues, a sweet friend told me that by staying angry, I was letting the person who hurt me have a lot of power in my life. At that point, I made a concious decision to work on the forgiveness process and get rid of that bitterness. Not a quick and easy process, but SO freeing once it happens.
Blessings, my OLD bloggin' friend. :)

Kate said...

You have a very compassionate heart. If you have that desire, I know God will use it for his good. You are awesome!

Greg said...


It hurts my heart to hear of the pain you've endured due to the selfishness of others. I pray for you tonight that God will continue to bring healing into your life.

You did encourage me tonight; to know that the teaching in this series is helping others means a lot to me (especially at midnight as I'm struggling with a few points on this week's message :)).


Kelley said...

"You will never be called upon to give anyone more grace than God has already given you."

~ Max Lucado (Give It All To Him)

I love this quote. It has helped me deal with the anger in my life the past couple years. Also remembering that God is more interested in the process than the end result.

Hey, I linked to you today. I finally wrote that post you suggested.

~ Kelley

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Katherine@Raising Five said...

Wow, Stacey, that took a lot of courage to share. I'm so proud of you! Your being transparent and open encourages me to do the same. Thank you - and I'll be on your prayer team!

MarillaAnne said...

I just popped over from booMama's

Listen, do not lightly dismiss your anger over these men. That said ... there is anger without sin and there is anger that leads to bitterness. I believe the anger that leads to bitterness is the one that you should not let the sun go down on. The anger that leads you to want change and want to enter into the fight against The Evil is a good anger.

Three books, they are not newly published so they are often overlooked these days but they are still very foundational.

Cry of the Soul by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman.

Bold Love by Dan Allender

Wounded Heart by Dan Allender (he gives excellent words that describe why even "little incidents" are hugely damaging to the soul).

and then I would also encourage you to read

to be told by Dan Allender because he will help you be able to help others through the telling of your stories.

Yes, Dan's books have been very instrumental in my life over the last ten years; however, they in no way replace the Bible ... they definitely increase my understanding of God and His writings.

I will be following your progress. Feel free to contact me with any questions or thoughts.