Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saying goodbye

It's been a hard road watching my Mother in law deal with cancer. I've known her since I was a little girl, about 5 years old. When I was young my parents worked together at a camp each summer and we went to the same small church. My sister and I grew up calling her Aunt Peggie. She did a little bit of everything at camp... cooking, counseling, office work, laundry, sword drills and so much more.

Now I'm married to her son and she is my Mother in law. It's amazing how much more you get to know a person once you're related! We have a good relationship and I'm glad. I wouldn't say we've always gotten along or seen eye to eye but I enjoy being around her. I look up to her because she is such a Faithful woman of God. She does her Bible study daily and can quote scripture off the top of her head. She truly has hidden God's Word in her heart. Plus, I love her because she raised my husband and helped shape him into the wonderful man he is today!

Just tonight I watched her as we visited. She has slowed down, content to sit in her chair. Her smile has faded as the pain has crept in. I learned how to give her medicine through the new feeding tube that was put in earlier this week. I was glad that I could help. It must be so hard for her not being able to eat on her own. I can't even imagine!

I can tell she still enjoys having the grandkids around and longs to be on the floor playing with them. I sat there thinking back to a time when she could easily carry one of them on her hip and push another on the swing outside. Now she's able to hold the baby for only about 2 minutes at a time with help. Her body is tired and she struggles just to hold a conversation.

It makes my heart so full of sadness when I think about my children growing up without really, truly getting to know Grandma Peggie. I know she wishes she could be here for the important things in their lives... graduation, weddings, births of their children. However God has a different plan and we have to trust that he knows what He's doing.

It's hard to watch her decline but I have a peace knowing that soon it will end and she will be with her Heavenly Father. Pray for all of us that our hearts will be prepared. That we will pull together as a family and really enjoy these last few days, weeks or months!


Tina said...

This is a very tough time...I am right there with you with so many memories. Not alot of daughter-in-laws have as much history as we do with with our mother-in-law. It is so hard to see her go downhill...and yet we know she has lived an amazing life...and will leave behind a wonderful heritage for us and her grandkids.

I am right there with you though on how hard this is and cannot wait to be there with you so we can cry and remember together.

Connie said...

Praying for all of you as you walk this road together!!

Sherry said...

I know it is hard. But the good thing about it is that you know for sure that she is going to be with the Lord. At least that will give some comfort. I am and will be praying for all of you. Love ya!

Molly Coddled said...

I'm so sorry that your family is dealing with this sadness. I'll be praying, that's for sure.

Kelley said...

This takes me back, as you know... to a similar sadness, although I'm never very far away from that moment. Praying for you all...

Susie said...

I'm so thankful to have known Peggie. She is a strong woman of faith! I have fond memories of laughing with her as we worked side by side in the camp office. I never dreamed that I would share grandkids with her one day. She was always a simple woman, no need for fuss, but she always had time to talk with people about the Lord. She raised a wonderful son to be my son-in-law! Funny that she had no daughters and I had no sons, so we were each blessed when you and Jeff fell in love! Then the blessings of the grandkids...unbelievable story!!

I know this has been a tough year but you've handled it with such faith and love! I'm so very proud of you!