It's been a hard road watching my Mother in law deal with cancer. I've known her since I was a little girl, about 5 years old. When I was young my parents worked together at a camp each summer and we went to the same small church. My sister and I grew up calling her Aunt Peggie. She did a little bit of everything at camp... cooking, counseling, office work, laundry, sword drills and so much more.
Now I'm married to her son and she is my Mother in law. It's amazing how much more you get to know a person once you're related! We have a good relationship and I'm glad. I wouldn't say we've always gotten along or seen eye to eye but I enjoy being around her. I look up to her because she is such a Faithful woman of God. She does her Bible study daily and can quote scripture off the top of her head. She truly has hidden God's Word in her heart. Plus, I love her because she raised my husband and helped shape him into the wonderful man he is today!
Just tonight I watched her as we visited. She has slowed down, content to sit in her chair. Her smile has faded as the pain has crept in. I learned how to give her medicine through the new feeding tube that was put in earlier this week. I was glad that I could help. It must be so hard for her not being able to eat on her own. I can't even imagine!
I can tell she still enjoys having the grandkids around and longs to be on the floor playing with them. I sat there thinking back to a time when she could easily carry one of them on her hip and push another on the swing outside. Now she's able to hold the baby for only about 2 minutes at a time with help. Her body is tired and she struggles just to hold a conversation.
It makes my heart so full of sadness when I think about my children growing up without really, truly getting to know Grandma Peggie. I know she wishes she could be here for the important things in their lives... graduation, weddings, births of their children. However God has a different plan and we have to trust that he knows what He's doing.
It's hard to watch her decline but I have a peace knowing that soon it will end and she will be with her Heavenly Father. Pray for all of us that our hearts will be prepared. That we will pull together as a family and really enjoy these last few days, weeks or months!