Rough Start

Jordan was a different baby from inside the womb. With my first three, I was terribly sick for a good part of pregnancy. Not this little guy, I hardly even felt nauseous or tossed my cookies. He moved but wasn't super active. I even carried him differently. I honestly thought he was going to be a girl since my pregnancy was so different.

After several weeks of him trying to escape the womb and doctors stopping it, he made his appearance on June 18th. We were so excited and felt so blessed to have our 4th little guy. Even his entrance was different... he was screaming on the way out and came head and hand first. The doctor and nurses had a good laugh about him trying to shake their hand as he came out!

He was so sweet but was a crier from the beginning of life. I remember one evening at the hospital when there were several people in the room and the nurse came in because he wouldn't stop crying. She took him and swaddled him up tight and laid him in the bed, propped up. We were told to leave him alone for an hour or so because he was overstimulated. It worked! He just wanted to be left alone.

As time went on he was an "okay" baby. Friends and people at church would ask me if he was a good baby and I would reply "No, not really!" I felt terrible but it was the honest to goodness truth and I was tired of pretending. I just wanted him to stop crying. It got to the point where the three older boys just expected that's what all babies did. I was in tears more than a few times by the time Jeff would get home from work. I'd hand him over and go sit in my room for peace and quiet... just 10 minutes was enough!

When he was about 4 months old I realized that he would cry for hours on end and something wasn't right. I mentioned it to the doctor but she didn't really seem too concerned. She said "keep an eye on it." One night, he had been crying for 3 hours straight. I called my Mom and asked her opinion.

We ended up leaving the three older boys with her and my Dad and went to the Children's Hospital. I remember standing there in the triage area where I heard one nurse say to the other "He's crying more than normal, something definitely isn't right." So they checked him in and got us settled in a room. The doctor came in a checked him over and they decided to do blood work. She came in quickly and said that his white blood cell count was through the roof and more tests needed to be done. So a spinal tap was ordered, urine was collected and an IV was placed in his foot. I couldn't stand the thought of watching the spinal so I left the room. I will never forget hearing him screaming from down the hallway in the waiting room. It brought tears to my eyes and I held my breath. I remember the words "leukemia" and "infections" being spoken but most of that was a blur because I was so tired and scared.

Later they moved us to a room where he was admitted and they started treatment. They ruled out anything scary and finally just told us he had a bad infection. In fact, every time a doctor or nurse would enter the room, they would glove up and put on a gown. It was really weird not knowing what type of infection was running through his body. They honestly couldn't give me that answer.

On day three they sent us down for testing of reflux and swallowing disorders. I was nervous about how he would do. The did several tests where they tilted him around on a table and in a chair. I had to feed him this milky white solution from a bottle, spoon and cup. He took it easily so that was a blessing. I can't imagine if he would have fought the process! They diagnosed him with reflux and started him on Zantac twice daily. The nurses laughed when they would come in for his dose each morning and night. They said they never saw a baby who took it so nicely. Apparently, it doesn't taste great and most babies would fight it. I honestly think he wanted the relief and didn't have the energy to fight them! God worked it out!

Now when people comment about what a "Good" or "sweet" baby he is, I usually reply "He had a rough start but he's a great baby now!" We will probably never know what the "infection" was or why it attacked his body but I praise God that he was healed and that he has grown into such a strong, loving, amazing little boy!!

Code Adam

Once in a while you're in a store and you hear "We have a Code Adam..." I've often heard those and thought "How on earth can you lose your child like that?" I mean we've all had our kids wonder down the isle or around the corner but you usually spot them and do the old "1... 2... " and they return to your side.

Well, that all changed the other day when I was at Sam's Club. My sister and I had to grab a few things. We had eaten a piece of pizza, made a trip to the restroom and then were on our way. Jake decided he should walk instead of ride in the cart. We had just made it past the cold cases and were on our way to check out. I stopped to look at something and turned around to find Jacob was no longer next to me. I thought he had just walked around the corner so I stepped over to look. Still no Jacob. Hmmm, maybe he went down the next isle. Negative. This is when I slightly start to feel my heart flutter. I walk three or four isles over and my sister took off the other way. He was LOST! I find an associate and let her know that I need some help locating my son. I'm sure my voice was quivering at this point. On her walkie-talkie she says the dreaded words "We have a code Adam. 4 year old white male, red shirt and denim shorts. Last seen near the freezer cases."

I'm still searching and I see at least 10 employees start out to search for my missing child. I'm in panic mode at this point and tears are welling up in my eyes. Where could he be? A man notices my panic and worry and asks "Are you looking for a boy?" I quickly said "YES!" He said "check the storage sheds, I just saw one through the window." I ran over and threw the door open to find him standing there with a big smile. Apparently we were playing a game of hide and seek and I hadn't been informed. I scooped him up and gave him a big hug. We had a talk about staying with Mommy and asking for permission before walking away. I think he understands now.

I will never judge those parents again... I am one of those parents!

Ants in your pants...

I wasn't going to share this with many people because it's just gross but I decided to post it on my blog so now I guess the whole world can hear...

Last week I woke to a screaming baby who had an explosive diaper and didn't want to go back to bed. So I decided to snuggle on the couch with him and watch an episode of Oprah. Side note, I've decided to watch her final episodes even though I haven't watched her regularly before. Anyway, there was a follow up show where she talked to a young man who had grown up in the south. He lived in a very poor community that didn't have running water and they often had rodents and bugs in their house. He said at night they would actually wear earplugs or stuff something in their ears so the roaches couldn't get it. I felt sad for the boy and thought about how much better our conditions were.

Jordan ended up falling asleep in my arms so I laid him back in his crib and headed to my room. I remember laying in bed as I fell asleep, praying and thanking the Lord for not allowing us to have roaches in our home... and especially not in my bed!

The next morning I got the boys off to school and came home to get ready for the day. I got my shower and got dressed. As I was doing my makeup I realized there was something scratching the inside of my leg. I adjusted a little and it went away. Then a few minutes later, I realized there was something moving in my pants near my hip. I tried to remain calm but I was completely freaking out inside. I grabbed my pants and squished them together as hard as I could and heard... or felt, a crunch! Oh my goodness!! So I ripped my pants off as quick as I could and what do you know? There inside my jeans was a roach. I got back in the shower. I left the pants on the floor and made Jeff take care of them when he got home. I think I washed them twice to make sure it was out!

Obviously God has a great sense of humor because I had just prayed about roaches in the wee hours of the morning. I had asked him not to let them be in my bed. Apparently, I need to be more specific next time... I don't want roaches ANYWHERE in my house!!

We still aren't quite sure how that roach got in the house. Our best guess is that the boys had left the garage door open the night before and he found a cozy home to sneak in. I made Jeff thoroughly spray the entire inside and out for bugs!

She's Baaaaack!

So I realize it's been way to long since I updated this blog. I have the urge to sit down and write something every day. Somehow it passes as I get a whiff of poopy diaper and realize a change is needed or I find the latest spill on the floor that someone forgot to mention or even attempt to clean up. My heart is in it but there are 4 little distractions that always pop up!

Lately we've been busy just doing life. You know how it goes. It may seem like nothing special to you but it's always an adventure for us. Jordan is 10 months old, Jake is learning more each day, Seth was diagnosed with ADHD (more to come on this topic in another post) and Josh is busy in the kitchen and doing school work :o)

The days pass faster than I'm ready for. I can't believe we're halfway through April already!

So for now, at least you know I'm still here... still breathing! I'm hoping to hop on here at least a few times a week and update. We'll see how long it lasts. I do miss the blogging world though!

Not Gonna Lie

My friend, Julie recently posted a list of her faults and I thought it was a really great idea! We might as well get it all out there on the table, right? She's right, I happen to look around at all the other "Moms" I know and think they've got it all together in life! Truth be told, they are probably just as stressed out, tired and frustrated as I am.

So here's my list of honest truths about me...

~ I don't like listening to my children argue with each other. I probably raise my voice too often to correct this issue!

~ I hate a lot of vegetables and don't force my kids to try and like them either. So we don't have them as often as we should.

~ I would love to watch TV more than I should. There are just so many good shows out there and I want to keep up with all of them. It's something I'm working on!

~ There are times when I don't really listen to my kids when I know I should be. Just had to apologize to the oldest yesterday when he was telling me a story and I zoned out.

~ My hubby doesn't know how to work the remote (in my opinion) so I'm in control when we watch a show!

~ I get frustrated that my kids don't help out more around the house but it's my own fault for not making them. I can't figure out a great system to get us started. We're tried several times and failed.

~ I don't take the time to snuggle with my hubby as much as I should. I get frustrated when I'm "busy" doing something and he needs some lovin'. He's a very patient man but it frustrates him.

~ I've discovered that I only have to wash my hair every other day. So I straighten it one day and then don't do much with it the next day. Maybe throw a few curls in and pull it back. Not sure if it's being lazy or smart on my part :o)

~ This blog is another area where I struggle. I feel as though I have so much to say and would enjoy writing more but get nervous that someone out there will read it and judge me. Why do I worry so much about what others think? I should be living for only ONE person in my life... my creator!

There are so many more that I could list but I don't want to scare you all away! Thanks for letting me honest and keep it real with ya...

Welcome to the world, Jordan!

He's here and we're all adjusting to life as a family of 6! The older boys are more than excited to have a baby brother. They ran to tell all their friends on our street that he was home and took Daddy's cell phone to show pictures. Jacob however, has had mixed emotions over his new brother. The day we brought him home he asked "Can he go back in Mommy's tummy?" Then later asked "Can't we take him back to the hospital?" Lately he seems to have taken a liking to him though... talking to him and singing when Jordan gets upset.

Here are some pictures of our newest family member...

It's the final countdown...

I'm not sure exactly when it will happen but this little guy is going to be here before long! We are excited about seeing who he looks like. We have three boys that look very similar but each has their own "look" if that's possible! Plus, I wonder what his personality will be like?

Right now I'm at 34 weeks and 3 days so it's still a bit early but things seem to be moving along. My doctor has given me strict orders to rest as much as possible and NO HOUSE WORK! Ugh, if only she knew how much I want to be getting things ready right now.

The crib is ready. We put the bassinet together last week. I packed my bag so I think we're good to go at this point. Now we just have to wait for the big moment :o)

The Laundry Pile

I recently had someone refer to the "day" I do laundry at my house. I had to stop and think back to the good old days when we could do laundry once a week... can I get an Amen? It made me laugh at the thought, really. I don't remember the last time I waited a whole week to do laundry. For those of you who have two or more children, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Maybe it's just boys or children in general but I feel like I'm constantly doing a load or two of laundry. It just piles up before my eyes! Guess it's time I start training those little guys to get in there and help their Mama, huh?

Just think, a couple more months and we're adding one more family member's clothes to the pile... and even though he'll be tiny... he'll sure dirty a ton of tiny clothes!

What a pain... in my head!

I've experience headaches since I was in the 2nd grade. I don't even remember how I made it to the nurses office after I blacked out in the classroom. It was the strangest feeling. That brought about numerous tests and trips to the doctor. I began having to take migraine pills when they would start up.

These migraines are terrible because I typically loose sight, then limbs start to go numb and I just can't focus or concentrate. It can be scary but once you've done it as many times as I have, it's just routine. The worst one I ever had was while I was pregnant with Josh... my ears, eye lids and tongue went numb and I couldn't even speak! I think that one actually freaked the doctor out a little :o)

This pregnancy has caused regular every day headaches but it's also given me two migraines. What a mess. The first one was eased by drinking coke, taking Tylenol and sleeping for several hours. The second one, not so much. After 24 hours of fighting it, Jeff and my Mom convinced me to go to the ER. I wasn't happy but knew I would get the relief I needed. They gave me a shot of morphine and sent me home with Tylenol 3.

Now I'm just praying that they won't return and the rest of this pregnancy will be smooth sailing!

My heart

So I don't know how this is going to come across but it's what's in my heart and I want to say it. Since I've gotten pregnant, everyone has been talking about my having a daughter. Believe me, that's what I desire more than anything else. I've told people before that not having a daughter is like living with a hole in my heart! Growing up I always imagined my life as a Mommy to a couple of daughters. Maybe it was because I only had a sister and the bond we have with our Mom is unbreakable! Maybe it's because I always dreamed about dressing them up and doing their hair. Whatever it is, it's there and it's stronger than it has ever been.

I have a hard time when we're in a store and I see families who have little girls. Especially when they have all little girls and they aren't clean and their hair is a disaster. I'm telling the truth when I say that I've spoken with God about my judgment of those parents. He knows I don't feel it's completely "fair." It's a personal issue that I'm working on!

Right now as I sit just one week away from finding out what we will be blessed with, it's hard. My emotions are high and my heart is on edge. People keep asking "Will you really be okay if it's another boy?" "Do you think you'll have a meltdown on the ultrasound table?" "Are you going to cry depending on what you find out?" The answer is, I don't know! I honestly can't say how that day will be spent. I'm sure it will be full of emotion no matter what the outcome.

God says he gives us the desires of our hearts and I'm trying to trust that. I also know that He is in control and if He knows that another boy is best, then that's what I will have to trust. One day I will understand His reasons but until then I rest in His will for our family and my life!

Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. It's nice to have my family close all the time. This year we got to celebrate with Jeff's brother and his wife and their 4 kids after two years of them being in another country. Seems the celebrations have come and gone and life was a whirlwind for a few weeks!

Now we are on to the new year and what 2010 holds for this family...

Celebration mixed with sadness!

We found out last Monday that we are expecting baby #4! It's crazy when I stop and think about all this means. Especially when I think about all the birthdays we will have during that time of year. The baby will be born at some point in the summer when Jacob will be turning 3, Seth 6 and Josh 9! I guess that is how God wanted it to be because I wasn't exactly planning that. We are excited to see if we'll be having a boy or girl this time. You know what my heart desires and so does the Lord... He and I have had many talks since finding out!

Tuesday we were sad because of the 2 year Anniversary of Jeff's Mom passing. He was sick and had been running a fever for almost 24 hours at that point. So he didn't get to go down and visit his Mom's grave but we thought about her and talked about all she meant to so many people. He struggles so much because he was always so close to his Mom and it was hard to watch her suffer in the end.

We also just celebrated 2 years of my Mom being cancer free! It's been such a blessing to see her be aggressive in her treatment and fight this thing with all she has. What a terrible disease but what courage she has shown in the face of it. I can't imagine life without her and hope I never have to!

Thursday was Jeff's 35 birthday and he was still very sick with a fever. I hoped he would be feeling better by the weekend so we could get out and celebrate. He was feeling better but by that point Seth was running a fever and then Jake. So we will have to put the celebrating off a little longer. Once everyone is well we will take him out and do dinner. I know he is looking forward to it as much as I am!

Giveaways are awesome!

Go check out Mary's giveaway at Owlhaven...

http://www.owlhaven.net/2009/10/05/october-family-feasts-giveaway/comment-page-2/#comment-38198

I'm super excited to see who wins and I hope it's me :o)

I loved my Grandpa

I don't want to try and write something about my Grandpa all over again because it's still a bit emotional for me. So here is what I wrote in the memory book online...

As a girl I remember thinking my Grandpa was a very important man because he was the Pastor of our church. When he spoke, people listened. I also thought he knew everything about God and the Bible. He studied more than anyone I knew!

There are also the memories from the good times we spent with my Grandma and Grandpa. I will never forget spending the night and having yummy snacks like popcorn or bread and milk in a cup. There were the times laying on his bed playing with Andre the dog. The times out in their pool. Every couple weeks he would stop by our house to visit and we knew there would be a treat involved... most likely a Kit Kat Bar! We also enjoyed going to Burger King to get a whopper because Grandpa loved a good hamburger.

As I've gotten older I've come to realize just what an important and special man he truly was. It was so amazing to watch the relationship between him and my kids. My boys loved Great Grandpa and the times spent with him. It was always cute when Great Grandpa reached for his wallet because my boys knew he was about to give them a dollar! He would roll the ball with them or take them for rides in his chair.

Grandpa, we will never forget the good times we had with you. Thank you for loving us, believing in us and encouraging us no matter what life brought our way!

Here are some pictures from the graveside service. It was so emotional but I felt such honor for him and his service to our country!

I loved seeing the flag...

Such a cool thing to hear and see

She played so beautifully

Folding the flag

Presenting it to my Grandma

Probably the strongest woman I know

Grandma, Mom, Uncle Steve, Aunt Karen and Uncle Matt

The kids were trying to process the whole thing

Family is a blessing

I feel very blessed to have such a large family! Since I was a little girl we've always been closer to my Mom's side. On that side there were 9 grandkids, 7 girls and 2 boys. I used to love getting together at my Grandma's house for Holidays. My Grandparents had a pool and we would swim from morning til evening! I will always look back at those times and be thankful.

As I get older, I appreciate my family even more. I've come to realize just how special each of them are to me. We're all grown now and have our own lives but we still make time to get together and celebrate life. You should see it when all of us our there together, it can get pretty crazy and loud. I guess some of the noise may have to do with the 9 great grandkids ranging in age from 13 years to 1 month old.

Recently we all got together to visit with my cousin, Danah and her daughter, Aylah. We don't get to see them much because they live in Wisconsin now. It was also a blessing to have my cousin, Jen and her baby girl, Emma who was just days old. Here are some pictures from that night...

8 of the great grandkids

He said "Mom, we need a baby girl!"

He said "Mom, we need two baby girls!"

Isn't she the cutest thing ever?

The men of the family

My Mom with baby Aylah

I couldn't resist taking pictures of her!

Three generations of wonderful women

Tony and Kristi... they just got engaged last night!

Some students steal your heart...

Student ministries can be very tough but so rewarding! I've had such a great time loving on these students and pouring into their lives. Anyone who knows me well, knows how nervous I was to jump into this area because I was so used to working with babies/children. I knew I had life experiences to offer these students, girls especially. I just wasn't sure how receptive they would be of me. It was amazing as I jumped right in and started serving. God truly blessed my life with each and everyone of them.

As time has gone on, I've poured into different lives and seen such growth. Wow, some of them have amazing talents and gifts. I've been to High School summer camp twice and what an experience! Jeff and I had the opportunity to do GO in 2008 and what a blessing it was. We trained with the students to do GO in 2009 but had to step away at the last minute with the passing of my Grandpa. It was tough but we knew family comes first in all areas of ministry!

All of this to say there are certain girls who steal your heart and make you so proud. Since I started a few years ago, I've been impressed with Ashley. She seemed wise and mature beyond her years. I've seen her serve as a member of the praise band, leader for Jr. High students, put in hard work for the GO trips and above all else a girl with a big heart who loves the Lord. She also reminds me of myself years ago when I was young and in love. She knows she wants to be a wife and mother and is praying that in God's timing she will marry the man of her dreams, Casey. I'm so glad God has given us the chance to get closer in the last few months. I feel so blessed to be a part of her life! I'm looking forward to the things God has planned for her.

This pic is not one of my favorite pics (because of me) but she looks cute...

Round One... ding, ding

So lately Jeff and I have really felt like we're under the attack of the evil one. We just started back with High School small group in our home and a just last month felt led to start a college age ministry at our church. I should have known that satan would find that troubling and do everything in his power to tear us down and destroy our efforts! After all, when you're reaching people, especially students for Jesus Christ, that is just going to tick him off.

One of the first big blows was when Jeff got a pay cut of 5% at work. We weren't happy but what else could we do. So we praised the Lord that Jeff even had a job! The Lord in return gave Jeff a small raise by being able to take on HR stuff in California.

The second blow came when they announced that they would no longer be covering the health insurance for families of employees and only covering employees at half as much as they used to. Unfortunately we couldn't afford that because it more than doubled our rates to over $1000 per month. As of yet we still haven't found a new insurance plan that fits us just right. We are truly praying about what God would have us do in this situation and that He would protect each one of us until then! We cannot afford any more medical bills at this point.

There haven't been huge blows since then but just little nagging pinches, pokes and kicks...

All three boys and myself got sick. Seth got so bad that he had to see a doctor, fortunately they were nice and only charged $60 for seeing the doc without insurance.

Jeff's car died on Saturday night as we were leaving for church and the new battery cost us $80.

The boys have been disrespectful and argumentative lately. Which causes Jeff and I to be on edge with them and each other.

There are so many more things that pop into my head but I'm not going to list them all. I just want to get the point across that WE ARE NOT going to let the evil one get us down! God has called us to to serve HIM and that is exactly what we plan on doing with our whole life.

Changes are being made and every attempt to kick the devils butt is happening. Because "As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD!"

Triple Birthday Bash... part 3

Finally, here are the pictures of Josh's birthday. Am I old enough to have an 8 year old?

I forgot I don't have pics of him with his cake because my battery died. I will have to ask my Mom to send those over.

His metal detector from Gram and Big Papa

Opening his gift from Arianna

Celebrating with his 2nd grade class...

his teacher gave "spankings"

Triple Birthday Bash... part 2

Now for Seth's birthday... can't believe he's 5!

The friends with Chuck E. Cheese

He enjoyed that cake... (note to self, never get black/blue frosting again!)

Big Papa helping Analiah get the frosting off her nose

He loves this girl!

Triple Birthday Bash

Summers at our house are always crazy, not only do we have all the usual summer fun and activities planned, we have three boys with birthdays to celebrate! I thought maybe I could catch you up on what those looked like and how we celebrated this year. I'm going to have to do it in three posts though so I can fit all the pictures in. First we'll start with Jacob, his birthday was tough because we were dealing with the fact that my Grandpa was so sick. In fact, we found out just before the party that he would be going into hospice care the following day. So it was as if we were celebrating a little life and dealing with the possible loss of an older one all at once! God is good and pulled us all through...

Riding his new bike from Gram and Big Papa

Loving on Grandma at the party

He loves his cousin Lexie

Too much cake!

Blowing out the candles

Playing games at Peter Piper Pizza